This is a (summarized) actual conversation from last year, when Dad went to the home supply store in search of large quantities of Thompson’s Water Seal. The guy was understandably confused, but at least he stuck to his guns. They had two kinds.
Dad - “Do you sell Thompson’s Water Seal in 5 gallon buckets?”
Worker - “Yes sir, we have two kinds. Just tell me what you’ll be putting it on, and I can tell you which one you’ll need.”
Dad - “Uhh, well, why don’t you just tell me where it is, and I’ll pick the kind?”
Worker - “Well, if you’ll just tell me what you’re using it for, I can tell you what kind you’ll need, because we have two kinds.”
Dad - “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
Worker - “Now sir, we have two kinds, but if you’ll just tell me what you’re using it for, I can tell you what kind you’ll need, and maybe save you from using the wrong one.”
Dad - “Fine. Ivory. I’m using it to preserve ivory.”
Worker (confusion begins to set in)- “Ivory? With Thompson’s Water Seal?”
Dad - “Yes, 20,000-year-old ivory.”
Worker (glancing around for the hidden cameras)- “Umm, ok, and you need 5 gallon buckets of water seal for that?”
Dad - “Yes, I need a lot of it. The archeologist who helped me dig up the 20,000 year old mammoth tusk, tooth, and partial skull in my north pasture said I could use Thompson’s Water Seal to keep the ivory from flaking away. Now can you please tell me where to find the Thompson’s Water Seal??”
Worker ( a little less confidently)- “Uhhh, well, we have two kinds….”
The way Dad tells this story, the guy was stuck on saying ‘We have two kinds’, and by the end was pretty convinced Dad was a loony rancher who had spent a little too much time sniffing weedkiller chemicals.
Fortunately, we have pictures. Mr. Home Supply Store Worker, if you’re out there, we take our mammoth tusks very seriously.
This is before it came out of the bank, when the large piece of the ivory was still attached to the skull (once it was out, and no dirt to hold it there, they came apart)
This is the skull piece and tooth after it was out. Only a small piece of the skull. The archeologist said the complete skull would be the size of a Voltswagon!
This is a close-up of the tooth, the most recognizable identifier that it is indeed a mammoth.
More pieces of ivory (now safely treated with Thompson’s Water Seal!)
Yes, ranchers are crazy, but it just goes to show you that in THIS case, crazy had nothing to do with it.