Sunday, March 21, 2010

Only a Hunter’s Wife would Understand

“Quick, go get my rifle!”  he hollered to me from the front porch, where he stood in boots too muddy to come in the house.  If you’re not a hunter’s wife, a frantic call for a firearm would probably be cause for alarm.  Surprisingly, this sort of request is pretty commonplace when you live where you are outnumbered by snakes, rats, skunks, porcupines, raccoons, coyotes, and whatever else happens to be in high population in any given year.

As I stood in the gun closet (what, you don’t have one of those?), “Which one is yours?”

“It’s the 22-250!”

Still confused, I asked again, “Which one??”

“The one with the dark stock!”

Not enough detail yet, “Which ONE???”

“The one with the camo strap!”

There were at least 4 that I was looking at with camo straps.  Honestly, they all looked the same to me, but I knew if I came out of there with the wrong gun someone was going to come and take my ranch-wife merit badge away.  Just as I was about to do eeny-meeny on the 2 I had yet to eliminate, he came tromping in and snatched what was APPARENTLY obviously the right one.

And thus began the day of the pig hunt.  We had seen pig signs for 2 years on the east pasture wheat field, but never caught them out in the open.  Apparently Dad had seen them and sent Mr. HH on a mad dash to shoot his first wild hog.  I had decided the pig herd was about as real as BigFoot.  The damage they were doing to the wheat was real, though.  It’s not too often we get an animal that is at the same time a verifiable nuisance, in open season, and would be quite tasty in the smoker.  Those are like the 3 pillars of shoot-ability!

As excited as he was, Mr. HH let me tag along to document this historic event, and after crawling a half mile through the brush, we saw them!  I was so excited to get within camera range, only later to find out the trailcam took about 300 pictures so close we could count their nosehairs.  Go figure.

But  it didn’t get a picture of the great pig-hunt in progress, now did it?

Ham, pork chop, sausage, anyone?  Come to my house, I have a whole freezer full!


Dad said...

Your Mom would understand about the ranch wife merit badge thing. Millions of hunter's wives know what you are talking about. Some one once asked her how she could stand being married to such a devoted quail hunter. She said she would rather find feathers in my pockets than hair on my shoulder. One more reason why we celebrated 37 years of marriage last week.

Anonymous said...

This is exactly how Mr. HH told the story to the across the street neighbors :-)

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